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Incognito Mode is a paid subscription on OkCupid. With the subscription, you get:

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  • No ads
  • Your profile is invisible to everyone on the site unless you like or message them
  • Turn incognito on or off at any time - you're in control!

Incognito allows you to keep an active profile on OkCupid while being 100% hidden to anyone on the site who you have not already messaged or liked.

Not only will you not appear in Questions, Discover, etc. to anyone you haven’t liked/messaged, if anyone tries to visit your profile who you haven’t liked/messaged, they’ll get a note that your profile does not exist.

Please note that Incognito is a separate subscription from Basic or Premium, and does not include the features of either.

Incognito Help

Having some trouble with Incognito? We can help make sure you’re flying under the radar.

Are you subscribed?

Incognito is a paid subscription that isn’t included with OkCupid Basic or Premium. If you’d like to find out more about Incognito’s features, you can view it on the site here.

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Is Incognito turned on?

You can make sure Incognito is turned on under the “Profile” tab when using the OkCupid app, on your main profile page when using the mobile website, and under your profile menu on the desktop website.

Frequently Asked Questions

I’m still seeing likes and messages after I’ve subscribed to Incognito.

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Any likes or messages you see from other members happened before your account was subscribed to Incognito. Also note that your profile will instantly be available for new likes/messages if you turn off Incognito at any time.

How can I remove any old likes or messages I received before I had Incognito?

If you come across a member that liked your profile when Incognito was turned off, you can block them. Tap on their profile, then the three dots at the top, then “Block”. You can find out more about blocking/hiding other members here.

How do I know for sure that Incognito is working?

You’ll know Incognito is working because you won’t receive any “live” like alerts or messages from other members. Your profile is completely hidden unless you like or message someone first.

I already bought a paid subscription, why am I not seeing Incognito?

OkCupid Basic/Premium and Incognito Mode are separate subscriptions, and have never been combined. If you purchase one, you do not get access to the features for the other.

If I've already messaged someone that hasn't liked me back yet, can I reverse my message and block them?

Nope! If you want to block someone that you've already messaged, you'll have to wait for them to like you back first. Once you message someone, you won't see their profile around the site until you mutually match. Once they like you back, if you no longer like them, you can unmatch/block them.


If you still need help, you can email a friendly human.

Is there a way to see who likes you on OkCupid without paying?

Ironically, free users of OkCupid don’t see who likes them – just that they’ve received likes. Ironically, free users of OkCupid don’t see who likes them – just that they’ve received likes.

What does it mean when a conversation disappears on OkCupid?

From an OKCupid moderator: “When someone deletes or disables their account, or blocks or hides your profile, or is removed from the site, then your conversation with them will disappear from your inbox and their profile will no longer show up on the site.”

Can you tell if someone blocked you on OkCupid?

If they block you nothing looks different. If they hide you their profile remains intact but they stop appearing in your browse matches results. They deleted or disabled. If they block you nothing looks different.

Can they see my message on OkCupid?

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Most like like, they haven’t seen your messages. You’re better off swiping in Doubletake, and message your Mutual Likes. The faster way to do this would be to do a search, and Like the ones you would like to date, and message your mutual likes.

How can you tell if someone unmatched you on OkCupid?

You can view your blocked/unmatched users on the app by tapping on your profile, then on Account Settings. From there, tap on Privacy, then on Blocked & Unmatched. Note: Passing someone does not block them.

What happens when you send an intro on OkCupid?

Once you send an introductory message to someone, we won’t show them to you again on OkCupid until they like you back. If they like you, they’ll let you know by liking you back or replying to your message.

Why can’t I see my OkCupid messages?

When you get notified that you received a message, if it’s not under conversations, it means you have to go to the “double take” tab and browse until you see a little blue icon under someone’s pictures, just so you can read the message. If you want to answer, you need to like them back.

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What happens when you send someone a message on OkCupid?

Once you send an introductory message to someone, we won’t show them to you again on OkCupid until they like you back. Now the ball is in their court! If they like you, they’ll let you know by liking you back or replying to your message.

Does OkCupid show your phone number?

Adding your phone number is now a requirement on OkCupid. You’ll need it to create a new account, or (if you already have an account) to send messages or intros. Confirming your phone number helps keep your account safe and secure, and makes it easier for you to log in to OkCupid.

Can You Search Okcupid Without Signing Up

Should I use my real name on OkCupid?

We love our members. You do not need to use your government name or even your full first name. Use the name, nickname, or initials you’d like your date to call you on OkCupid. So you have to use something different, but that “different” doesn’t have to really be your name.

Is OkCupid dangerous?

But is it safe? Unfortunately, right now, the answer is no. OKCupid doesn’t use HTTPS encryption to protect their users’ safety on the vast majority of pages on their site.

Does OkCupid send fake likes?

They are probably bots. Hazel is paid by okcupid to give out fake likes. No. Other sites do it, and okcupid keeps inching closer to a hookup site, if it isn’t one already.

How good is OkCupid dating site?

In short, OkCupid is a more affordable eharmony. Our Editors’ Choice dating app, Match, also has robust profiles, along with a fun, easy-to-use interface, but OkCupid is a worthy competitor. For those looking for a date for tonight rather than something more long-term, check out our other Editors’ Choice, Tinder.

Can you see messages on OkCupid without paying?

We always let you see your mutual Likes for free. You can see your recent mutual Likes in the New Matches tab of your messaging page. Messaging on OkCupid is completely free.

Does OkCupid tell if you screenshot?

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Unfortunately, screenshot notifications aren’t a thing with OkCupid. This means that you’ll have no idea whether or not someone has taken a screenshot of your conversation.

What does the green dot mean on OkCupid 2020?

If you see a green dot on a profile (or a green circle around an image) that indicates the person is currently online and using OkCupid. Finally, a gold circle around a photo shows that someone has liked you.

Can you see who you liked on OkCupid?

Tapping the blue star brings up the “Likes” section of OkCupid. From there, you can see which profiles you’ve already liked. And if you’re an A-List member, you can see all the profiles of users who have “liked” you already.

How do you find someone you accidentally swiped left on OkCupid?

If you left swipe and you haven’t swiped the next person there’s an undo button in the top right. Edit: your only other option is to hope to stumble upon them in your matches. If you remember the age, just set your filter for that age and start looking.

How do you introduce yourself on OkCupid?

How to write a great introduction

  1. Keep it to 40-90 Characters. You don’t have to pour your heart out in message #1.
  2. Be Thoughtful. Just like you would with a potential date in real life, express genuine interest.
  3. Don’t Be Too Familiar.
  4. Mind Your Grammar.
  5. In Summary: Date Like You Do In Real Life.